How to Deal With a Love Triangle
Love triangles are just flat out confusing. A big ball of mixed up emotions being thrown in two different directions simultaneously, leaving all three of you utterly confused, exhausted, and unsure of where the situation is going. If you find yourself in the middle of one of these confusing, emotional situations, what are you to do anyways? We’ve got the answers: whether you’re in charge of the love triangle or one of the lovers hanging on the sidelines.
If You Are the One With Two Lovers
If you’re the one “in charge” of this love triangle- aka, the one who is torn between two people you like- then there’s a couple different options you can take to deal with the situation.
- Decide who you like more. When you’re smack dab in the middle of a love triangle and can’t decide between two people, this can be a lot easier said than done. It may take a lot of time, effort, and consideration, but at the end of the day you need to decide who you like better. Who do you have better chemistry with? Who have you known the longer? Which person do you see a legitimate future with? In the end, it simply can’t be both. So take some time to determine who you think is really, truly, the one for you.
- Be honest with yourself- and others. It can be a lot easier to sugarcoat the love triangle, making it seem like you are ‘just playing the field’ and it’s no big deal. But when it comes down to it, it is a rather big deal, and you’ll have to come up with a decision in the end. So be honest with yourself: you are in a love triangle, and be honest with others. They should know that you are having trouble deciding who’s right for you. I mean, after all, you’d hate to find out months into the ‘relationship’ that the person you’re seeing has another person on the sidelines? You’d feel cheated and used. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy!
- Talk it over with someone close to you. Sometimes it’s hard to make a decision on our own. There’s so many thoughts rambling through our heads that everything just seems scrambled and overwhelming. In time of trouble, always turn to someone close to you. Talk to them about the situation and get their point of view on what you should do. More often than not, people on the outside can see things that we can’t, so they may be able to have some insight we didn’t even notice ourselves!
- Take it seriously. Love triangles are not a joke. In the end, someone is going to get hurt. Viewing a love triangle as a joke and viewing other peoples feelings is just cruel and terrible. Take it seriously and try and be as courteous and sympathetic as possible.
- Cut it off completely with one person. When you finally make your decision, you need to cut the other person off completely- one hundred percent. No more talking, no more texting, no more flirting- nothing. You don’t want to keep the other person stringing along after you’ve made it clear you are going to pursue the other individual in the love triangle. This will only lead to yet another love triangle that will surely lead to disappointment and disaster.
If You Are One of the Lovers
If you’re one of the lovers in the love triangle, there’s a lot to consider. Here’s some things YOU need to decide!
- Decide if it’s worth it. If you are part of this love triangle, then you know that there is a big chance you won’t be chosen in the end. You are basically in a competition with this other person for love, and you won’t always be the winner. You need to decide if this person is really worth all of the trouble, stress, and emotion, or if you’d be better off moving on to someone else. Do they really make you happy? Do you really think you may be the only one in the end? Are they worth all of this hassle?
- Look for any sign of commitment. When you’re in a love triangle, the main individual might tell you what you want to hear- “Oh, of course I want to be with you. I’m just not ready to commit yet” and etcetera etcetera. But you shouldn’t just take this persons word. You need to look for signs of commitment and see if they really are trying to become a couple with you and drop this sideline lover. Do they spend time with you on holidays? Do they spend a lot of time with you? Have you met the family and friends? There are many signs of commitment to look out for.
- Don’t hold on forever. If this love triangle has been going on for several months, it may be your best bet to just quit while you’re ahead. It should never take someone that long to decide whether they want to be exclusive with you or not. Don’t be their “lap dog”. Don’t be the one person that waits around forever, the person they will continuously use just because they think they can. In the end, you’ll just end up heartbroken and alone while they are happily frolicking with a different person. Don’t hold on forever. When enough time has passed, it’s time to either give them an ultimatum or cut ties.
Whether you are the “main” person in the love triangle or one of the lovers on the sideline, there’s no doubt that love triangles are extremely stressful and gut wrenching. Remember to consider the situation- no matter where you stand in the relationship- and decide who you want to be with or whether or not this person is worth it. Don’t toy with peoples emotions and don’t wait around forever!
Have you ever been in a love triangle? What is your best advice in dealing with a love triangle?